Typical Rei
by ShotgunNeko
Summary: Who knew being Hasekura Rei was so hard! Oh the horror! Oneshot!


**Disclaimer:** **I don't own Marimite**.

**A/N: Dedicated to Xylofry14 lol This is just for kicks.**

**Typical Rei**

Friday 3:30 pm

Rose Mansion meeting. Sachiko talked about something. Pretended to listen but instead mentally undressed Yoshino....also Yumi and Shimako. Used tissue to conceal nosebleed.

Did not mentally undress Touko.

4:00 pm

Walked home with Yoshino. Yoshino talked about something. Pretended to listen but instead continued to mentally undress her.....and also Yumi and Shimako. More tissue used to conceal nosebleed.

Still did not mentally undress Touko.

4:30

Stopped at Costco to stock up on tissue.

4:45

Chisato Tanuma works at Costco! Who knew? Flirted with Chisato Tanuma while Yoshino fumed. Received a wonderful deal on lima beans.

5:00

Eriko "Ryu" Torii phoned. Made the mistake of yelling "Shoryuken" and asking how Chun-Li was doing.

5:03

Eriko "Ryu" Torii hung up.

5:30

Cooked for Yoshino in exchange for sexual favours.......Kidding. Libido is out of control. Kicking myself for not having bought another box of tissue at Costco. Also more lima beans.

6:00

Shoryuken!

6:30

Yoshino plans to sleepover. CHA-CHING!

7:00

Friday night cosplay with Yoshino. Bummed out about always having to be Sailor "Uranus".

7:08

Yoshino said she liked my "Space Sword". Not so bummed out anymore.

7:30

Began reading the 4th book in the Twilight series. Wondered if Sachiko is Yumi's "Edward" and if Sei is her "Jacob." Maybe Touko is her "Jacob"? Or what if Touko is her "Edward"???????!!!

7:31

Realized I was thinking too much. Went back to mentally undressing Yoshino.

7:33

Decided to try something new. Mentally undressed Noriko.

7:36

Realized Lolis are HAWT.

8:00

Convinced Yoshino to wear less clothing to bed.

8:15

Remembered that I had previously realized that Lolis are HAWT!!!!!!

8:30-10:00

Yoshino talked about her feelings. Zoned out thinking about Lolis!

10:00

Finally going to bed!!!!

10:09

Yoshino falls asleep.

10:11

Cried over Lesbian Bed Death realization. Sleep is Futile.

Sunday 8:07 Am.

Can't sleep. Writing with one hand, as Yoshino has taken my other arm hostage underneath her body. Contemplated baking a cake to calm my nerves. Decided it was too early to bake so instead phoned Sachiko.

8:10

Sachiko was bitchy. Hung up, for fear of my own life.

8:15

Tried to do the old hug and roll trick to free arm. Fell off bed and woke Yoshino. Cursed "Joey" on Friends.

8:17

Yoshino was also bitchy. She decided to take a shower.

8:30

Had to pee. Decided to check on Yoshino. Found Yoshino wet and naked. Cleaned up blood from volcanic nosebleed on floor.

8:45

Yoshino wanted to show me the scar from her operation. How can she not realize it's on her BREAST? Cleaned up blood from second nosebleed. Wondered why the gods are punishing me.

9:00

Yoshino called Yumi and Shimako. Ended up at the mall with the "girlz."

10:30

The mall is evil. Sat on bench while girls shopped. Phoned Sachiko to join us.

10:32

Sachiko was still bitchy. Hung up phone again, fearing for my life.

10:40

The girls end up in a lingerie store. Things are looking up.....

10:45

Satou Sei showed up. Convinced Yumi-chan and the others to model some of the lingerie.

10:46

SATOU SEI IS MY GOD!

10:47

Incurred massive nosebleed. Apologized to sales clerk for blood on the floor.

11:00

Too afraid to call Sachiko, handed phone to Yumi-chan. Miraculously Sachiko showed up moments later.

11:07

Sachiko refused to eat mall food and yelled at "tray lady." Sei offered to take us all out for fine dining.

12:18

Blah Blah Blah. The girls are discussing books. "Twilight" is mentioned. Vampires are sexy.

12:19

Will these girls ever stop talking?

12:30

Sachiko is called back home for family business.

12:35

Sei wastes no time in convincing Yumi-chan that because of her pale skin and cold demeanour Sachiko is a vampire.

12:51

Sei leaves poor gullible Yumi-chan to her own devices.

12:52

Shopping at Costco for garlic, crosses, and wooden stakes. Also more lima beans.

1:14

Drop Yumi-chan off outside Sachiko's mansion. Hope for the best. Expect the worst.

1:30

Receive angry call from Sachiko.

1:31

Laugh at her misfortunes.

1:49

Wish Yoshino would get makey-outy with me.

2:02

Download S Club 7 ringtone for when Sachiko calls again.

2:03

There ain't no party like an S Club Party!

2:05

Add Susan Boyle as a facebook friend.

2:07

Add Amane Ohtori as a facebook friend.

2:09

Add Xylofry14 as a facebook friend.

2:10

Download Adam Lambert to Yoshino's ipod.

2:15

Log onto Fanfiction dot net. Check out the Mai Hime verse.

2:16

TELL NOONE!

2:17

Secretly love ShizNat.

2:18

TELL NOONE!!

2:19

Read next Chapter of "Monster" by ShayP

4:30

Holy crap was that a long chapter!

4:31

Wonder if ShayP is a loli.........

4:32

Continue mentally undressing Yoshino.

5:00

CONTINUE THE VICIOUS CYCLE AND DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN!!!!!

The End!!!

LOL hope u all enjoyed the insanity!


End file.
